Tranny Closet – Crossdressing Blog











{February 10, 2015}   Becoming Melissa

Being a M2F (male to female) transgender person is not easy. We suffer the effects of what society expects of us, and what our internal voice says. And the two sides don’t always match. For me, I feel like I’ve been “becoming Melissa” since birth. I thought, as I got older that I would not have the desire, but instead it has intensified. Now I’m ready to transition. To be female. Full time!

melissa-jan15

In Vegas, January 2015

Today is day 15 of my journey. My trans-birthday was January 27th. I enter a world of new firsts. Like today going to the doctor for the first time as a woman. We discussed how to proceed – starting with HRT (hormone replacement therapy). Blood was drawn so they can monitor my health as there are risks involved along with the benefits. If all goes as planned, I’ll have my first shot in 10 days. Then the waiting game begins. How long til I see breast development? Will my skin become softer? Can my narrow hips widen as the fat is redispersed around my body?

Although I’ve been mainly self employed for what seems like forever, I decided to put my name out there and find a job.  I had my first interview (via phone) with a company that, so far, appears to be a very good match to my strengths. If I get the job, it would require a move to sunny Southern California, which right now, sounds very appealing. How amazing it would be to walk through the door the first day, as a woman. My fingers are seriously crossed.

The hardest part of my transition is the notifying of family, friends and acquaintances. I’ve been dragging my feet. Scared of the unknown. But I did get a phone call from my child’s school this morning and they addressed me as ‘Melissa.”  It’s happening, but slowly. I think the hard part of notifying, is the tearing down of people’s perceptions of who you are. I’m still the same person, just a different look and I’d like to think, a softer/friendlier version. And I smell better too 🙂

I’ll be updating this blog often to let you know how my transition is going.

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Day 24!
Slowly still coming out to friends and family. Including people who knew I was transgender, but didn’t know that I was thinking about transitioning. So far, no bad responses. Which brings a smile to my face, and some serious relief too.

I had my ears pierced 2 days ago. It felt like such a huge step, at least to me. Couldn’t believe how quick and simple it was. I love them! And no more clip on earrings. I hated the squeezing of my ears. It got got painful at times. But no more, I’m a pierced girl now.

I’m not a nightclub/bar fan, haven’t been out to one in over a year, but a Facebook friend, I had never met, posted she was going to an event, and I thought, why not. We talked for about 3 hours. Very nice conversation. She was curious about transgender and had lots of questions, which were all courteous. That is the key to me. I can be open and answer questions, it doesn’t bother me at all. But if the questions become condescending or rude, then I’ll stop. But, honestly, I haven’t had that experience yet. While at the bar last night, I sensed someone behind me. The bar wasn’t busy, and 2 chairs down was a very pretty lady. As I turned and looked at her. I said a quick “hi” which in the bar, she couldn’t hear, but most people can do simple lip reading. I turned back to my friend and then felt this lady was closer to me. I turned around and she had moved closer to me. And she said to me “You have beautiful lines.” She then motioned lines in air, drawing my body. And she says, “really beautiful, very nice,” Needless to say, she made my night even sweeter. I wanted to talk with her, but felt it would have been rude since I was talking with another person.

I’m dealing with some personal back and forth emotions. But mostly, I’m really happy right now!



Staci says:

Hi Melissa! I’m Staci and I would just like to say that I think that you are ver brave to be pushing on to become a woman and living your dream as so many of us girls would love to do. I think it’s really cool that your getting your foot in the door trying to be a working gal! That is a dream of mine too!😊



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