Becoming Melissa

Being a M2F (male to female) transgender person is not easy. We suffer the effects of what society expects of us, and what our internal voice says. And the two sides don’t always match. For me, I feel like I’ve been “becoming Melissa” since birth. I thought, as I got older that I would not have the desire, but instead it has intensified. Now I’m ready to transition. To be female. Full time!

In Vegas, January 2015

Today is day 15 of my journey. My trans-birthday was January 27th. I enter a world of new firsts. Like today going to the doctor for the first time as a woman. We discussed how to proceed – starting with HRT (hormone replacement therapy). Blood was drawn so they can monitor my health as there are risks involved along with the benefits. If all goes as planned, I’ll have my first shot in 10 days. Then the waiting game begins. How long til I see breast development? Will my skin become softer? Can my narrow hips widen as the fat is redispersed around my body?

Although I’ve been mainly self employed for what seems like forever, I decided to put my name out there and find a job.  I had my first interview (via phone) with a company that, so far, appears to be a very good match to my strengths. If I get the job, it would require a move to sunny Southern California, which right now, sounds very appealing. How amazing it would be to walk through the door the first day, as a woman. My fingers are seriously crossed.

The hardest part of my transition is the notifying of family, friends and acquaintances. I’ve been dragging my feet. Scared of the unknown. But I did get a phone call from my child’s school this morning and they addressed me as ‘Melissa.”  It’s happening, but slowly. I think the hard part of notifying, is the tearing down of people’s perceptions of who you are. I’m still the same person, just a different look and I’d like to think, a softer/friendlier version. And I smell better too 🙂

I’ll be updating this blog often to let you know how my transition is going.

Are you going to a Transgender Conference this year?

If you are transgender and never attended a transgender conference, you should!

They offer so much – like knowledge, friendship, acceptance and maybe more importantly, fun. If you are totally in the closet, then you “must” go to one. The feeling of wearing that special outfit to a dinner gala is an amazing one that you can’t miss out on.

Dancing at the Esprit Conference

I try to keep an updated list of the upcoming conferences/conventions and events at the following link
Transgender Conferences Calendar for 2015

Since I live in Washington State, I’m most familiar with our own Esprit Conference in Port Angeles. This week long conference is the perfect venue for both out of the closet transgender ladies and the newest of newbies, still in the closet. The vibe is very low key. Girls don’t come here to show off their breast size (except for Joy 🙂 ) . They come to interact and learn. The daytime features classes all week. Including topics on voice training, laser hair removal, how to chose the right wig, self defense and even doctors arrive that talk about hormones and the different feminization surgeries available. The night events include an eclectic mix of dancing, eating out, billiard tournament, a talent show and lastly, a wonderful ending gala party. The hotel has been hosting this event for years and they (and the city) love it when we arrive. If you are peeking outside the closet and scared to leave the safety of your house, just realize that everyone at the conference has had to deal with that feeling at some point, and plenty of people are there to hold your hand.

Have you been to a transgender conference? Respond to this article, and tell us about your experience.