The Face of Transgender

At birth, a doctor looks at our external genitalia and classifies us as one of two options, male or female. If male, you are treated a certain way immediately. Blue clothes. Trucks and cars for toys. Descriptive words are used like, handsome, tall, strong. If female, pink clothes, dresses, dolls, and words like beautiful and pretty. But what if you are transgender?

We all have masculine and feminine traits. Most males (assigned at birth) lean toward the masculine side. Most females (assigned at birth) lean toward the feminine side. If you are male and lean toward the female side, or part way, you are probably transgender. As I am. This is something that I constantly struggle with, because society has pushed me to the masculine side all my life.

So when an article caught my eye yesterday, I found myself feeling odd about it. I only spent a minute or two reading it, but as the day went on, I felt uneasy about the article. And a little upset.

The article was titled, Airline Allows Man in Women’s Panties to Fly.

I’m always amazed at how hurtful people can be, especially when not face to face, like the comment section below an article. Jabs like “I hope the airline had barf bags,” or “If that thing sat next to me. I’d Jump.” Wow! Would you really jump? These people don’t know this person. But based on the visual, he is diseased. An idiot. Crazy. Disgusting. Worthy of jumping off a plane. What else? You fill in the blank. Anything bad, you can insert it here. After thinking about it later in the day, I became upset that this person was the face of transgender. Our poster child. When the general public conjures up a visual of transgender people, or crossdressers, they see her. This is sad, and quite honestly pisses me off. First off, she is NOT the face of transgender. That’s not to say she isn’t transgender, but instead, she is not a good representation of what most transgender people look or act like. Her outfit would NOT be accepted at any transgender conference I have attended, unless she was pool side. But unfortunately the media doesn’t show all the transgender people who go on planes that dress “appropriately” because that is not a story anyone cares about.

While en femme, I have traveled on airplanes, taken long train trips, crossed the border into Canada and back. I try to blend in. It’s not about getting the stares. It’s about me feeling feminine, feeling female.

So, what is the face of transgender? Honestly, it’s me. It is Alyssa, Tiessa, Teri, Jia, Jackie, Denise, Alexii, Stephanie and many other people that I have had the pleasure to meet and now call my friends. Each one is unique. Has her our own style and personality. The face of transgender is not the person on the plane wearing panties and 4-inch heels. That is the stereotype that the media have given us.

Crossdressing Hair Removal

Hair. It covers our body. And for some of us, it really covers our body. And it is hard to feel feminine if you look like, well, a gorilla. So we trim, shave, wax and use hair removing lotions. These have varying degrees of success or non-success, but have you thought about laser hair removal? If not, you should.

Over the years, I have used two main methods to remove hair from my body. Waxing and shaving. Shaving is less expensive and relatively quick, but the hair comes back quickly and for me I have the issue of in-grown hairs that redden and irratate the skin in certain places. Waxing has a longer life, but is very costly and can be a little painful with each “rip.”

In 2010 I decided to give laser hair removal a shot. I am not the hair’est person, but definitely had places I wanted “cleaned up.” Seeing that some of my friends were having this service done helped me go this route. So I scheduled my first appointment. Decided to concentrate on my back, shoulders and neck first. Wow, what a difference! I love the feeling of a shirt resting on my skin and not slightly away due to the hair. But the biggest surprise came with the removal of hairs on my neck. I have suffered my entire adult life with in-grown hairs just below my jaw line. This area of skin is almost always showing some amount of irratation. After one treatment, I could see an obvious difference. Months have passed and I haven’t had any reddeness or irratation on my neck at all. This is exciting for me.

The procedure is easy and relatively painless. It does take some time with each appointment. And depending on where and how much, it could take many appointments to get your desired results. If there is a downside, it would be the cost. It is the most expensive form of hair removal. But, it is the best as well.

Ask your friends, do some research, and get rid of that hair now!

How to choose the right crossdressing wig?

A brief guide to choosing the right color, length and style crossdressing wig!

If you want to go out in public and pass, hair is one of the most important items in your crossdressing wardrobe. Don’t make a hasty decision on your wig. Try on as many wigs as possible, and don’t be afraid to try styles that you might normally overlook. Unlike clothes, where your femme wardrobe changes on a daily basis, your wig should stay relatively constant. You might consider two styles, or two slightly different colors, for different occasions – maybe a long, loose wig and an updo in the same tones, for instance. Wigs these days are sophisticated; you’re no longer limited in color, as many wigs come in highlighted and other realistic multi-colors. You could also choose a straight wig and a curly one, and wear different wigs with different outfits. Study hairstyles of women that are close to your age. If you are 40, look at 30 to 40. If you are 60, focus on 50 to 60. Notice the colors, lengths and styles. This will help immensely with what is appropriate for you in the way of passing.

Expect to pay $40 to $60 for a nice wig, and up to a few hundred for a great one. It should be adjustable, washable and realistic. (Washable wigs retain their styling, so require no additional fussing.) Stay away from Halloween wigs. These costume wigs may have an attractive price ($10 to $20), but they lack high-quality, realistic fibers, and don’t last long.

How to choose the right color?
Stay within your natural color range – choose a color that closely fits the range your hair has been since your were a child. If you’ve had black hair your entire life (maybe now it’s greying,) don’t buy a blonde wig. The color will most likely not work with your skin tone. If your hair has been blonde, mixed blonde and brunette over the years, stay within this color range. Try on several wigs and find that right color first, then move on to length, cut and style.

How to choose the right length?
The length of your wig is important because it helps cover features that are identified with being male. Examples include a larger head, an adams apple, a more pronounced nose, forehead, ears and chin. The length of the wig can help diminish these issues. For this reason I don’t recommend short bob wigs. A good wig can cover your ears, hide your adams apple from a side view and make your chin seem less pronounced. I recommend wigs that are at least shoulder length to a quarter down your back. Stay away from wigs that go more than half way down your back, since this is not a “typical” hair length on women, it will draw unwanted attention on you.

How to choose the right style?
Avoid wigs that are curly on top or near your face. Wearing a curly wig gives the illusion that your head is even larger. You want to soften your male features, not draw attention to them. I recommend straight and straight with waves or loose curls. This is where you want to go to a wig shop or crossdressing conference and try on many styles. Pay attention to the part. It should look realistic, like you are seeing your scalp, not matted down hairs that attempt to hide where a part would be. (This is usually called a skin part or skin top.)

Bangs?
YES! Bangs are great. They help to hide our foreheads, which are a big giveaway when trying to pass. A high quality wig will allow you to play with the bangs till you find the perfect placement. Bangs are also a great aid in hiding the fact you are wearing a wig.

To summarize, your best wig choice should feature a color within your natural range, and fall at least to your shoulders. The style should not accentuate the size of your head. And bangs are good.

Enjoy the process of choosing a wig best suited for you, and don’t be afraid to experiment when trying them on. You may find a whole other femme self than you ever imagined.

Find crossdresser wigs at www.trannycloset.com

Esprit and Be-All Transgender Conferences

Hello Crossdressers

It’s Spring! The cold weather has faded. The warm summer is right around the corner. A now the crossdressing conferences begin.

First off is the Esprit Conference in Port Angeles, Washington. This is fun week-long (May 16-23) event close to Seattle that draws over 100 CDs and SOs (significant other). This is my second year attending the event. I had a blast the first year. Met several friends that I have become very close to. Had a chance to take the ferry across to Victoria, BC and spend the day shopping. Watched the Nasty Habits (an all-tranny band) three times at local bars. As well as attending most all conference functions, including the talent show and Saturday Gala. I was a vendor at the event, displaying and selling most of my products at www.trannycloset.com.

Again this year, I will be at Esprit as a vendor, but new this year, I will be presenting a class – Breast Forms and Wigs 101. This class is being offered twice. Monday, May 17th 3:30-5:00 and again on Thursday May 20th 1:30-3:00. It is free to any conference attendees. I will be discussing the basics. How to choose the right length, sytle and color of a wig? Things to avoid, and things to look for in a wig. What is a wig cap? Should I wear one? How to comb and care for your wig? How to choose the right style and size breast form? How to wear breast forms without a bra? How to care for them? Can I sleep in them? All of these questions will be covered and many more.

Shortly after Esprit ends, Be-All begins in Chicago. This event runs from June 1-6 and attracts over 400 people.  I attended this conference last year as well. Like Esprit, I had a blast. Formed great relationships, kept busy with evening activities and had my vendor booth to keep me busy during the days. There are fun events throughout, including a pool party (bring your swimsuit!) and the Saturday Night Grand Banquet that is an absolute must for all attendees.

Like Esprit, I will be attending Be-All as a vendor and a teacher. I will be presenting one class (Breast Forms and Wigs 101) on Thursday June 3 from 3:30 to 4:50.

If you have a chance to attend these events, please stop by my vendor booth and say hi, or maybe come to one of my classes. I would love to meet you.
Have fun and be safe girls.

Melissa